Still I rise

Still I rise By Maya Angelou

 You may write me down in history With your bitter, twisted lies, You may trod me in the very dirt But still, like dust, I'll rise. Does my sassiness upset you? Why are you beset with gloom? 'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells Pumping in my living room. Just like moons and like suns, With the certainty of tides, Just like hopes springing high, Still I'll rise. Did you want to see me broken? Bowed head and lowered eyes? Shoulders falling down like teardrops. Weakened by my soulful cries. Does my haughtiness offend you? Don't you take it awful hard 'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines Diggin' in my own back yard. You may shoot me with your words, You may cut me with your eyes, You may kill me with your hatefulness, But still, like air, I'll rise. Does my sexiness upset you? Does it come as a surprise That I dance like I've got diamonds At the meeting of my thighs? Out of the huts of history's shame I rise Up from a past that's rooted in pain I rise I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide, Welling and swelling I bear in the tide. Leaving behind nights of terror and fear I rise Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear I rise Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave, I am the dream and the hope of the slave. I rise I rise I rise. Maya Angelou

Update

I hope this message finds everyone in good spirits. Some people have inquired as to how I am doing these days and I wanted to include everyone in one letter. As I was drinking out of my Harry Potter mug that my sister bought me I looked upon how far I have gotten. First off I have waited and will apply for a degree in clinical social work. As most of you know I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and hit rock bottom. I entered into a treatment program and I decided that I wanted to enter clinical social work because I could interact with clients better if they know I suffer from the same condition as they do. My case manager suffers from bipolar disorder and it has helped me to know that he is going through the same things I feel.
This time last year I was a wreck and generally had lost my faith in God. Not many people know that but now it is in the open. I started praying every time I was feeling down, every time I cried, every time I saw someone in need, and in doing so I have come to know God! I realized that one must work to know God. With my history background I have been researching the nature of the term “God”. It is a natural human emotion to seek the “divine”. In finding God I have opened up to my therapist and I can feel God working with me now to heal. I want everyone to know that one is not “cured” of a psychological disorder or an addiction; one MUST be in “control”. Everyone has their own cross to carry and I have found that it is up to each individual rather you are Buddhist, Muslim, Hindu, or whatever religion you choose, that you must work to accomplish a connection with the divine.
I did not get to this road alone. Sadly a lot of my friends have left and I do not blame them for some of the things I put them through. However there were some friends who stayed and help me through this process. I want to thank my parents for all that they have done for me. I want to thank my sister no matter what I know you love me and I know that you will always speak the truth. There are other friends out there (you know who you are) who have helped me. Now that I have started what some might call the “blossoming” process I must get a plan in order. Short term goal is to stay in control of my condition. My second goal is to get a degree in clinical social work and work in drug court. I will subject myself to random drug test and continue seeking psychological help just so that my clients see that I am going through the same thing. The third is acquiring a membership with the American Psychological Association and advocate for the need of knowledge of psychological disorders in religion. The Buddhist already has that up and going, it’s called Buddhist Psychology. I am not going to hide my problem I am going to advocate because there are people that need help and I can only pray that God gives me strength to do so. With a warm heart I wish all of you well and may God bless you.
Ps. I want to say a special thanks to my Muslim friends in the UK for helping me as well for the US. To you I say As-Salaam'Alaykum Wa Rahmatullah Wa Barakatu..

Freedom at Last!

Today in Washington the monument was reviled for the late Rev Dr, and Martin Luther King . If it were not for his dedication and hard work many people of color would not have accomplished the goals they worked so hard to accomplish. Both black and white people worked together to abolish the so called “Jim Crow Law”. The “separate but equal” clause was a joke. Even though there were separate facilities, the construction was totally different. For example in the movie the help a bathroom was made for one of the maids who ran the house but it was small and only made out of four pieces of wood. People of color were scared to speak their mind and I personally applaud their efforts to obtain freedom. I think we should all take a moment of our time to talk to people from that time period. I think there is a lot we could learn. My hat goes off to you Dr. King, your legacy lives on today. I thank you for liberating the south from closed minded thought and hatred for people just because of the color of their skin.
“I have a dream that my four little children will not be judged by their color of their skin but by the content of their character”.

Making blog Agian

I have no clue as to what to say today. I know this is so EMO of me but I feel as though people do not understand me. I also feel that they do not understand my condition and sometimes that is frustrating to me. Psychology has made great stride in recent years. For those of you that do not know I have Bipolar disorder and thankfully I have it under control with the help of my therapist. I guess you could say in a way that it is a blessing to me because it has allowed me to find the existence of God. When I say God I am not just talking about Christianity, I am talking about God in the sence of all relegions. If one looks through the history of religion one will find that it is man’s nature to search for the devine. When you have something like I have you have to reach out to that higher power so that you can obtain the strength to continue. There are a lot of people who turn their nose up at people who have mental disorders and claim that their son or daughter is perfect.
I have no idea where I would be if we had not gotten control of my condition. It is hard living in the place I live because the people are so close minded. If you are not a white person who goes to church you are basically left out of the loop here and referred to as “trash”. As far as the “giving of tides” I give my tides in helping to keep the supply house stocked for the homeless people. People in church write those checks but they never want to see the people they help. I know I just made a lot of people mad with that comment but it is the truth. I find it so funny when potations all of a sudden find God when they want to win an election. God can give just as much as he can take away and that goes for any religion.
The things I want to do before I die is go to a Masque and witness their religion. The religion of Islam is a very beautiful religion. I have taught many people from overseas how to teach English and the nicest people I have ever met have been Muslims. There is a restaurant in Hattiesburg that I go to and the people are so nice there and I can read about Islam without anyone turning their nose up at me. As for the Masque they want to build in Mississippi, I say go for it. I have not heard of its compleation yet but I want to go. Regardless of what people say, we are not at war with Muslims. We are at war with extremists. Christians have killed Muslims; look at the guy in Norway who shot all those people just because they were Muslim. I think the Muslim religion will enhance my knowlage of God and I will have a better understanding of their religion.
I have a friend named Ema who lives in Saudi Arabia who has been so kind to me and has taught me so much about the Muslim religion. I can also tell you that the Muslim relgion is very accepting of those with Mental disorders. I know people who go to church who have mental disorders and people turn their nose up at them the first chance they get. One of the rules of Islam is that all creatures of God are to be treated with respect. In Mecca it is against the law of the Qur’an to kill anything within those walls. The reason some Muslims want American troops out is because of the violence.
Do not get me wrong I love my troops, they are men and women who deserve the utmost respect for doing what they do for their country but now that we have fought for them what is going to happen when we leave. According for some sources the people are not ready for the Americans to leave because they have not been properly trained but we can no longer afford a war. In closing all I ask is that you open up your mind when someone tells you that they have a disorder and be kind and respectful of other people’s religions. I dream of the day when the people of Brookhaven can interact without anyone treating them badly because they are different.